What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
