Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
is wine microwaveable?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
