remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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