Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So apparently I’m into choking now
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
