I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The struggles of a small town man whore
Randomize
