The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
