Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
