Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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