Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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