he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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