She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
