It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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