someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
