I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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