i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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