finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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