I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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