Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
