the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
