The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
