Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
