peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
