shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
