Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This house was built for laser tag.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
