Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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