let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
