Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
