Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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