He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
