I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
