the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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