so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
