he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
