evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
