I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
my liver is dry heaving
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
