Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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