I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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