It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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