I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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