Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
