i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The adults are the big ones right?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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