On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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