we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
