I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
