I puked a lego.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Randomize
