She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
