Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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