mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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