I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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