Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
