can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
